Why Women Give Bad Dating Advice
From female friends and exes to love gurus, women are the last people who know what they want.
By Alex White, Relationship Correspondent
Page 1: Bad female advice
Have you ever noticed that the worst dating advice you get about winning women over usually comes from women themselves? Women are famous for not knowing what they want.
They say they want a nice guy, but follow jerk-offs like lemmings. They say they want flowers, poems and gifts, but get turned off if the wrong guy sends them a birthday card.
Clearly, they don't understand their needs or their triggers.
Follow these hints and you'll soon learn to wade through the deluge of useless feminine advice to find the real nuggets of wisdom.
advice to make more friends
The female friends in your life will often tell you to lay all your feelings out on the table. "Tell her how you feel," "Be a nice guy" and "Don't sleep with her right away."
Their advice will get you more girl friends, but sadly, no bedmates.
They mean well, but truth be told, they're setting you up to look like a chump. Because when you play Mr. Nice Guy and open all her doors and sleep on the couch, you're not making a lover -- you're making a friend. And a boring one at that! Your female buddies might think they're helping you out, but they're really just sending another hapless calf off to slaughter.
even mom doesn't get it
"Just be yourself" sounds nice when mom says it, doesn't it? And we know she wants the best for us, but we need to a draw a distinction in this piece of advice. Don't just be yourself, please yourself. That means going after the woman you want and being open about your motives, with no apologies!
Simply "being" is not enough; you need to be a man of action. Mom can't give good advice until she lets go of her image of you as a "nice little boy."
We have to be wary of the exes' "tips," as these characters will either tell you what you want to hear to get you to move on, or they'll wreck your chances of replacing them. Ex-girlfriends will tell you things like, "The harder you look, the less you find," and "Maybe you shouldn't date anyone for a while."
This is hardly any consolation to a depressed, horny guy. And I defy you to find me an ex-girlfriend who wants you to start dating a girl who is much hotter than she is. Your exes can't give good advice because their egos are involved.
Gurus suck, so you gotta make sure you know what women want...
Page 2: Women don't know what they want
female self-help gurus
A quick read through internet sites and self-help books reveals an unsettling trend: Following the advice of self-dubbed gurus actually weakens your power in the dating game. Many of these self-help coaches dish out tips like "Be more sensitive to her needs" and "Be romantic." Their advice seems to focus on men changing themselves to suit women's needs, all the while ignoring their own. Yeah, I don't think so.
They'll tell you communication is more important than wealth or looks. But if you open up and give away all your desires, dreams and fears, don't expect your woman to hang around for too long. If you're not mysterious
, you're no longer a challenge, and she will move on.
One popular female dating coach tells men to fill in any awkward silences by delivering a compliment. Now come on; any experienced player knows to give compliments sparingly
, if at all. You can't inflate their heads with insincere compliments just because you ran out of things to say. They have to earn the compliments.
Another dating pundit advises men be to be decisive because indecisive men won't be able to handle a wife and family
. Is it possible to raise the stakes any higher? Jeez, talk about pressure.
And these experts say to always have plans on a date, forgetting that predictable men turn women off faster than The Clapper. The secret is to prepare for a date (such as making a reservation at a restaurant), but make it appear spontaneous and fun.
The truth is that the "experts" can't get down and dirty because their loyalties are not to you, but to the women you are trying to chase. By sabotaging guys, they make life easier for the ladies.
women's utter confusion
Sometimes you even muster up the courage to ask a girl what she wants, what attracts her and what turns her on. However, this straight-up approach usually gets you a less-than-straight answer. You might get a list of qualities, like "nice, romantic, generous, polite, listens more than he talks, financially secure, remembers birthdays, and
appreciates the finer things" -- qualities that have been glaringly absent in her last five boyfriends.
When women discuss what they want in a man, remember that they might not be fully aware of what really
turns them on.
chuck bad female advice
Precious few females encourage men to snag women with a combination of cockiness and a biting sense of humor. Some of the better advice includes not needing to spend too much money on a date, and developing and exuding authentic confidence
The best dating advice women can give you is to be honest, assertive and respectful, but not to roll over and act like a wimp. Always hold a little something back.
If you heed bad female dating wisdom, you'll be a very confused and uncertain man. Don't be that guy. Women want challenging, confident, mystery-engulfed men. Unfortunately, they are often unwilling or unable to tell you. Or maybe they're unwilling to face it.